Remember the days when borrowing a cup of sugar from the neighbor was a common thing? Maybe you’re too young, but there was a day before social media when we actually went outside of our homes and visited with the people living around us. While Facebook and Instagram have helped us stay in touch and reconnect with friends and family from afar, they shouldn’t be a replacement for good ole face-to-face interactions.
Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs tells us we are motivated by five basic categories. Once our basic needs are met (food, water, rest, security, safety), the next level is the need for belongingness and love. In other words, we need friends and close relationships. When Maslow created this theory, you know he wasn’t referring to 1500 friends on Facebook and 900 followers on Instagram. No, he was referring to close personal bonds with family and also with friends, either through a club, your job, or with fellow hobbyists.
So how well do you know your neighbors? Sure, there may be some who would rather stick to themselves, and that’s okay. You may even have a Gladys Kravitz in your midst, but chances are, you’ll find some who are thinking just like you.
Connecting with your neighbors doesn’t have to be difficult or take a lot of time, but it will probably require that you get outside, at least in the beginning. Here are some ideas:
BE FRIENDLY
“Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person.” – Fred Rogers
When you get the mail or take your trash can to the curb, do you smile and say hi to passersby or turn your head? What if you took your time walking to the curb, then notice if someone is around, and if there is someone, greet them? Being friendly can go a long way. Many long-time friendships started out in a neighborhood, probably just like yours.
LEARN NAMES
When you do meet a neighbor and they offer their name, remember it. Addressing someone by their name makes them feel a sense of belonging, thus satisfying their psychological need as well as yours. Repeat their name to yourself a few times to help you remember it. When you say goodbye, call them by name. You can also use a name association trick to help you.
And here’s an idea to help others remember your name. Create a business-card-sized “Get To Know Me (Us)” card with your name, address, cell phone number, social media @s, and maybe a list of some of your favorite things (“Hi, my name is Rose, and I enjoy cooking, reading, and wine. I would love to connect with my neighbors to share recipes and book recommendations.”).
GO FOR A WALK
Let’s face it…we could all use a little more exercise. And what better way to get fit than by going on regular family walks. Your kids can ride bikes or tricycles, and you can greet your neighbors as you go. You’ll start to see “regulars” who are outside gardening or walking as well. It’s a great way to connect!
If your family members aren’t into exercise, try walking alone safely. You may meet other neighbors who would love to join you…especially if they’re of an older age.
SPEND TIME OUTSIDE…IN THE FRONT YARD
Sure, you probably spent a lot of money and time sprucing up your backyard, but to connect to your neighbors, you might have to go around to the front. Sitting on your porch or grabbing your lawn chair and sitting in the front yard will allow you to chat with passersby. If you have kids, arrange a kid-friendly yard game or set up the cornhole boards for the older kids.
Is your driveway entrance in the front? Bring out a fire pit and your bag chairs when the weather cools. A good crackling fire always attracts people and brings them together. If you want to get real crazy, provide all the supplies for making s’mores.
WELCOME NEW PEOPLE
When someone moves into the neighborhood, immediately making a friend is always comforting for them (and again, satisfying their psychological need as well as yours). If you see someone new, introduce yourself. Make a great first impression. Make a batch of cookies or brownies and drop them off. And don’t forget to include your “Get To Know Me (Us)” card.
INITIATE GET-TOGETHERS.
If you have the time to organize it and others are willing to participate, plan a progressive dinner or a cookout. Start a Google Sheet with signups so everyone can chip in. Or if enough families are involved, have those with last names starting with A-M bring something salty and N-Z bring something sweet.
Does your town or city allow block parties or porch fests. If so, simply apply for a permit. The approval of the permit may include barricades to block off the street. Ask someone to be in charge of games and entertainment for the kids. Bring a speaker for some background music. And again, use the Google Sheet for signups.
PROVIDE FOR A NEIGHBOR IN NEED
“Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor.” – Mark Twain
Sometimes Mother Nature gives us more than one person can bear, but it’s neighborly to come to the rescue. If you see someone in your neighborhood trying to clean up from the aftermath of a storm, offer to help out.
As you get to know your neighbors, you’ll also know when one of them is in need of other help. Pitch in whenever and however you can, whether it’s running errands for them or providing a home-cooked meal.
INTRODUCE YOUR PET
Dog owners love to talk about their fur babies and pets provide us with a great conversation starter. And Duke will make some friends as well, so don’t forget to include his name on your “Get To Know Me (Us)” card.
START A BOOK CLUB
Chances are, you’ll find some bookworms in your area. If this includes you, consider starting a book club to connect with other like-minded readers. Letting others know about your love of reading is easy if you add a Little Free Library to your front yard. Check out our Little Free Library article for more information on how to build one and register it with The Little Free Library organization.
CREATE A SKILLS DATABASE
Now, this idea is sort of out there, but it’s worth considering. Joe is single and is good with handyman projects, but his neighbor, Tom is not. Tom’s wife (who wants the handyman projects done) makes a mean lasagna and Joe loves home-cooked lasagna. Fran wants to start a business and Jan is good with social media. Jan needs some landscaping done but hates being outside and Fran loves to garden. You see where this is going, right? What is the likelihood you might find some similar instances among your neighbors? How about pooling everyone’s resources together to see where each can benefit another?
“Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you.” – Zig Ziglar
Of course, there may come a time when you or a neighbor must move. But thanks to social media, you’ll be able to stay in touch. And we hope that F.C. Tucker Emge will be able to help with the move.
For all of the latest information on our local real estate market in Southwestern Indiana, you can always trust the professionals at F.C. Tucker Emge. Our agents have superior training and resources at their disposal so they can better educate you about the road to homeownership. Even if you are 6-12 months (or more!) out from making a change, there is a lot to learn about the home buying and selling process, and our agents can help you learn what you need to know so that you can be confident in your decision and have a smooth experience when the time comes. Let’s Talk!
